No, it’s much more important. Because it ’tis the season, and there’s going to be a whole lot of hosting going on. So I have a very important question.
Toilet paper rolls -- over the roller bar or under?
I put this to my friends on Facebook and Twitter, holding a virtual summit on the matter. Some at first were suspicious of my motives, which, by the way, were as pure as a quilted Northern, if you want to know.
Said Ron K. from New Jersey: "This is one of those psych tests, right? If you say over, you're showing confidence. If you say under, your more cautious and frugal, knowing it's easier to "re-roll" if a little too much is spun off. (You can tell I've thought about this a lot.)”
So have we all, Ron, so have we all. And because we have, you’d think that there would be consensus culled from shared traditions, scientific evidence, natural law. But noooo! It’s a crap shoot (forgive the pun). At least for some. As Howard S. from Minnesota said, "It's like betting on college football: Always take the over."
The opinions were many, the resolve behind each thumb’s up, or down, was impressive. "Over...do you mean there was any question?” proclaimed Mary F. from California.
Ah, but there is! And in attempting to find answers, you find reason. Because people really do give this a lot of thought, probably mostly while sitting on the throne wishing they knew where their hosts hit the emergency replacement roll!
Stephanie S. from Pennsylvania: "When I'm actually conscious of it, I do under. Easier to grab in the dark if you run your hand along the wall lol"
Gill W. from The United Kingdom agreed: “You can control the pull and rip better!”
Sophia A. from Pennsylvania, prefers to control the mischievous who might plot against her: “Over, if you don't have toddlers or dogs!”
Laurel F. from Illinois also factors in our four-legged friends. "It depends on whether you have cats -- and they've taken an interest. In that case: under, for sure,” said she.
Some arguments even opened these old eyes to new dangers apparently inherent in this seemingly innocent choice. As Ray P. of New Jersey, cautioned: "Over, Claire, better to prevent injury.”
What? How? Do we need warning labels? Be afraid, be very afraid!
On each side could be found impassioned reasons for why they do what they do in the privacy of their own homes. Some were poignant, to say the least. “Over. ... It's what I'm comfortable with because that's what Mom did...,” wrote Roberta Z. from Germany.
My mom, too, Roberta. Perhaps that is why I have to ward of paralysis and do a mental checklist trying to grasp the art of the under, while “over” just flows like a waterfall, as paper off a roll should. And when it does, I’d like to think that somewhere my mother is smiling!
Some of my friends submitted arguments that were as impressive as briefs submitted to the Supreme Court. “Under. It is easier to tear it from the roll this way because the rest of the paper acts as leverage,” discerned John D. from New York. "When you go over, you could have paper all over the floor. Quite frankly, when I got up this morning I didn't think I would have to answer such an important question.”
But that is okay, John. Where else in one’s home is there one place that guarantees the time for peaceful thought and introspection.
Said Ron K. from New Jersey: "This is one of those psych tests, right? If you say over, you're showing confidence. If you say under, your more cautious and frugal, knowing it's easier to "re-roll" if a little too much is spun off. (You can tell I've thought about this a lot.)”
So have we all, Ron, so have we all. And because we have, you’d think that there would be consensus culled from shared traditions, scientific evidence, natural law. But noooo! It’s a crap shoot (forgive the pun). At least for some. As Howard S. from Minnesota said, "It's like betting on college football: Always take the over."
The opinions were many, the resolve behind each thumb’s up, or down, was impressive. "Over...do you mean there was any question?” proclaimed Mary F. from California.
Ah, but there is! And in attempting to find answers, you find reason. Because people really do give this a lot of thought, probably mostly while sitting on the throne wishing they knew where their hosts hit the emergency replacement roll!
Stephanie S. from Pennsylvania: "When I'm actually conscious of it, I do under. Easier to grab in the dark if you run your hand along the wall lol"
Gill W. from The United Kingdom agreed: “You can control the pull and rip better!”
Sophia A. from Pennsylvania, prefers to control the mischievous who might plot against her: “Over, if you don't have toddlers or dogs!”
Laurel F. from Illinois also factors in our four-legged friends. "It depends on whether you have cats -- and they've taken an interest. In that case: under, for sure,” said she.
Some arguments even opened these old eyes to new dangers apparently inherent in this seemingly innocent choice. As Ray P. of New Jersey, cautioned: "Over, Claire, better to prevent injury.”
What? How? Do we need warning labels? Be afraid, be very afraid!
On each side could be found impassioned reasons for why they do what they do in the privacy of their own homes. Some were poignant, to say the least. “Over. ... It's what I'm comfortable with because that's what Mom did...,” wrote Roberta Z. from Germany.
My mom, too, Roberta. Perhaps that is why I have to ward of paralysis and do a mental checklist trying to grasp the art of the under, while “over” just flows like a waterfall, as paper off a roll should. And when it does, I’d like to think that somewhere my mother is smiling!
Some of my friends submitted arguments that were as impressive as briefs submitted to the Supreme Court. “Under. It is easier to tear it from the roll this way because the rest of the paper acts as leverage,” discerned John D. from New York. "When you go over, you could have paper all over the floor. Quite frankly, when I got up this morning I didn't think I would have to answer such an important question.”
But that is okay, John. Where else in one’s home is there one place that guarantees the time for peaceful thought and introspection.
Some arguments, though, did not come from quiet contemplation, but rather, it seemed, from humorous rants worthy of Bill Maher.
"In public bathrooms, they put it under all the time and it's not only impossible to reach, it's down way too low,” Genevieve G. from Utah complained. "Whoever designed that contraption should be fired!”
“If I am in someone’s house, I will change it if it’s under,” warned Florence T. from Illinois.
"Daughter Lisa is a confirmed UNDER. Of course she is WRONG,” Ruth B. from California said emphatically. "I'm the Mother and I'm over and Right!”
"Absolutely positively over!” insisted Nancy H. of Arizona.
Yet, countered Robin H. of Massachusetts with a snappy retort: "Under, you fools.”
Gently, now, my friends. Gently. Consider the art. Said Jon P. from New York: "There is no question that its is ‘over.' How else can they make those nice ‘arrowheads' out of them at hotels?” Ah, agreed Chuck G. from New Jersey: “Over, always over (for) that little origami fold at the end!”
Then, lastly, there the accepted consensus based on decades of polling. “In a 1989 survey, 68 percent of Americans preferred ‘over,'” said Carole C. of New York. “I think I have too much time on my hands..."
As do we all, Carole. Because, in the end, I would say we in this little corner of the world did not move the needle very much. For I found most respondents are over the top in more ways than one! “Even in Germany, over,” said Marie-Luise H. ... "I like under, but over is correct,” conceded Julie D. from Alabama.
So, there you have it! As Paul H. of Connecticut summed up so succinctly: “Roger, OVER and out!”
(For your viewing pleasure: The Things You Learn on Wikipedia: Toilet Paper Orientation
http://youtu.be/DVnpzm1fpNs)
(For your viewing pleasure: The Things You Learn on Wikipedia: Toilet Paper Orientation
http://youtu.be/DVnpzm1fpNs)
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